According to mapquest, 270 McCall Road in Greece, NY and 490 Covewood Blvd in Webster are separated by 10.74 miles Those were the childhood homes of me and my biological siblings.  They are divided by the Genesee River and for the 50 years that ­God saw fit, it was a divine division, God’s ever presence and action in our lives.

I’m here in this place today because of God’s ever presence and action not only in recent uniting of my biological siblings and myself, but because of God’s deep and endless love for me displayed throughout my life.  The Lord hand-picked every detail, the ones revealed and the ones still unknown, all for His glory and for my benefit since before I was born. 

Psalm 139:7-18

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

How many times have you seen God’s ever presence and action in your life, places where you knew God stepped in to bless you or keep you safe, or get you back on the right path?  I’m sure there are ones that are still yet to happen.  All of us here have had some hurt, hang up, or habit that has weighed us down at times, some more than others.  I believe we can all say we still have struggles.  Tonight I will share my adoption story a little differently.  I want to ask you to think about these next few questions as I share my story.  Reflect on them in your own life.  What are the desires you have had in your heart, the struggles, the gifts from God?  Do they turn your face toward Jesus?  Do they keep you at His feet?  Do they align your heart so your desire is for Him more than this present place?  Do you look for the answers to these things only in Christ so that you put Jesus in the right place in your life?  Do you have community with God?  The Bible says that Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  He was God made human and lived a sinless life, yet His life was still hard, but He had community with His­­­ Father through it all.  I am not Christ or God I will fall short and I do so daily, but I desire to keep that community with God through Jesus.

Adopt: to choose or take as one’s own, make one’s own by selection, to take and rear as one’s own child, specifically by a formal, legal act, to take or receive into a new kind of relationship

Ephesians 1:3-7

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.

Romans 8:15, Galations 4:4-6

Grace: a manifestation of favor, mercy, clemency, pardon. Theological: the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

Romans 3:21-24

But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.22This righteousness is given through faith inJesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 

John 1:14, Romans 5:1-5

God has adopted us all through His grace those whom believe on His Jesus Christ and His shed blood for our sins.

I’ve always known since I was very, very young that I was adopted.  Mom and Dad wanted me to know from them not from someone else, so it was a special thing, but commonplace to me from early on.  I’ve been with my parents since I was 3 days old.  I was supposed to go to foster care until the official papers came back from Albany, but my Dad went to court and appealed and I went home with them instead.  Just like Jesus goes to the Father on our behalf!  When I was able to understand my adoption, we celebrated my birthday and the day my family brought me home, I think I was about 3. I had two birthdays for a few years!  Mom and Dad knew about my biological family, it was a story they’d tell me many times over the years and they were always open to discuss it. During the adoption process my Dad took personal notes about them.  Mom always told me how she and Dad ‘chose’ me.  My parents have one biological child, my sister, Gloria, who is 7 years older than me.  It took them 10 years to have Gloria and then they could not have more children of their own so they decided to adopt.  I knew I was placed by God’s loving hand in my Mom and Dad’s care. 

I had a wonderful childhood.  My Dad was a Greek descent and my Mom, a Lebanese descent.  I grew up eating the BEST food!  We travelled every summer as my parents families were in New England and we travelled abroad several times to visit my papou, my grandfather in Greece and many other incredible places.  I grew up going to church, learning of Jesus and the stories of His life.  My Mom taught Sunday school and would talk to me about her father, my shidoo, which is grandfather in Arabic. Shidoo told her stories, his own parable of his love and God’s love for her. I remember he was a kind and loving man to me. Now as an adult looking back over these years, I have seen how my own father mirrored Christ’s love to me.  I have told my Dad, who is 92 and in assisted living of these recent events with my bio family.  Steve and Kathy have met him.  He is glad for me and amazed at how for this time God saw fit to bring it about. I saw him today and he so wanted to be here, but it would tire him.  I will share the story tonight with him personally.

Lying in bed at night I remember being a kid and talking to Jesus. He  was a  friend I could tell things to.  At confirmation in 7th grade, I received a New Testament and read it cover to cover. I recall the words of how a man must be born again, not of his mother’s womb, but of God. While I was loved and cherished by my parents, there was an ache in my heart, feelings of unworthiness, needing to belong something.  Through reading the Word I accepted Christ as Savior, and I felt His love.

Growing up in church, I had two friends in particular, a brother and sister that were adopted because when I was adopted, their parents inquired about it…. but that’s a whole other God story for another time.  We’d often talk about it together.  We wondered about our bio families, but never wanted to make our parents feel slighted or make them feel we were not truly happy with them, so we never desired to look.  My parents had told me much about my bio family so I had a good story.  I never wanted to be disappointed, and somehow I always knew in my heart God had spared of something by being adopted, again a reason why I didn’t look.  Years later after I had my own children all I wanted to do was write a simple note to my bio mom and say ‘Thank you for life.  I have been blessed by the Lord and have been truly loved by my adoptive family.’  I had no idea how to look for her or do that, but I prayed that God would let her know.  In 2001, just for giggles I looked at an adoption informational website and filled out some information.  When it reached a point where I had to drop some cash to look at the site more, I left the site.  I never realized it had stored my data.

The end of September this past year was rough.  My own sister has had some serious long term problems that needed addressing and would be coming to a head. It was emotionally draining and my heart was anguished over the whole issue.   I also have been a caregiver with/and for my parents for all of my adult life, 27 years now.  My Mom had Alzheimer’s for 19 years and passed away in 2004.  Dad and I had the privilege to sit with her as she left us. I’ve been handling my Dad’s care and estate now for 6 years. Over the years it has allowed me to grow closer to them in the gift of service.  The stress of that job at different points over these years sometimes leaves me completely depleted.  Adding on my sister’s issues, and I was totally drained.  Coping was not a skill that was even remotely available as we moved to the beginning of October. I felt like I was in a hopeless situation. Little did I know what my God was orchestrating in the background!

I don’t know what put me on edge that particular evening. I’m sure it was something very minor but with the recent goings on, even seemingly insignificant things immediately brought me to the edge.  I had been feeling alone in my Dad’s care for so long, previously with my Mom, now my sister.  So whatever it was that evening, I was going to take a short drive to the store and back for a change of scenery and a brain break.  I call it displacing.

I had my coat on ready to go but something was prompting me to stay, then the house phone rang.  Gosh!  Not another solicitor for my Dad or a political call!  That was all that called on our house phone.  “Hello? Is this Cindy?”  I replied yes.  “You don’t know me but I’m Kathy Matteson Beltrone.”  By now I’m thinking ‘oh how I hate these calls and why did I answer?!’  Then I heard something I never in my life, I mean never, ever imagined, “I believe I’m your biological sister.”  She continued, “My mom had a baby girl that was born March 12, 1963 in Rochester and was put up for adoption through Hillside Children’s Center and was adopted 3 days later.”  I can’t even remember my reaction except that I was blown away!  It went from a bothersome phone call to a crazy, never imagined dream! 

I don’t even remember what I responded other than yes to the information Kathy confirmed from my own Mother’s story I always knew.  Evidently, the information I filled out on the website years before lead Kathy on a path to me!  While I never thought of looking for my bio family, I never thought they’d look for me!

Ok, so you think that’s the story?  Hang on…

About 10 years ago my Dad gave me my adoption papers.  The detailed notes had taken about my bio parents when he met the social worker at Hillside and my legal adoption papers. What my parents and I believed all these years was a bogus name for the sake of filing papers for the closed adoption, was actually the name my bio mom gave me AND my bio family’s name!  I was named after several relatives in the family ~ Melissa Ann Matteson.

When I turned 18, Kathy told me her and my bio mom, (who has since passed away along with sister Linda) started looking for me but since I never registered or inquired with NYS adoption records, their searches fell flat. Kathy over the years would periodically look for me. Recently she began again but she had not told her brothers, Jerry and Steve that she was looking for me.  Somehow she connected with a site where the ones who have found their adoptees, help others find theirs.  The search angel, as they are called, told Kathy not to get discouraged as it could take quite some time.  The date was September 30.  THE NEXT DAY the search angel landed on my Facebook page and told Kathy to look at my pics.  It was me.  That was October 1.

So Kathy had been trying to get a hold of me through Facebook starting on Oct 1, but my page is very private.  There she saw pics of me, sent me pics of her and notes.  They went into my ‘other messages’ because of my privacy.  She even began messaging my husband!  Dan dismissed her notes because he didn’t know her.  After a week of that, she called my house and we connected.  We met two days later.  It was wild!  All I can say is that I now know what it feels like to hug myself!  We are the same build, same sizes, same smile…etc.  Meeting my two brothers followed.

Many of our Facebook friends overlap and we have all been FB stalking each other.  Jerry lives in Walworth now. Kathy and Steve in Marion are just doors away from my oldest son Ben and his family who moved there just this past spring!  Several days before Kathy called me, Ben and my granddaughter actually bumped into Steve and his wife on a walk, only they didn’t know each other then.  Little did I know when I visited Ben and Michelle these past months that my bio family was literally doors away! 

Steve was at Roberts Wesleyan College when I was going there for voice lessons and master classes when I was in high school.  He even lived across the street in the late 70’s from the church I grew up in, and at that time was very active in youth group.  The church was a mile from my parent’s home.  Later on, Steve had a Christian paper that he published.  It would be delivered to the various churches.  I used to pick that paper up at the church my own family attended. Church friends of mine wrote articles for that very paper!  Steve told me that he often prayed about me.  In one of his prayer times the Lord assured his heart that we would all meet this side of glory.  One particular morning God told him to “wait and see what I will do”.  He wrote that down in his prayer journal.  I asked him the date…it was October 1, the same day Kathy found me on Facebook! I have to remind you here that Jerry and Steve did not know Kathy was actively looking for me at that time. 

My brother Jerry told me when he went to large venues he often wondered if I was there. He and I have yet to discuss that in detail. I’m sure there will be more evidences of God’s hand!  1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see only a  reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. Just these incidences alone blow me away and leave me totally undone by God’s grace and love for me.

My bio sibs and I have spent time together.  It’s been a bitter sweet reunion. As I said before, growing up I knew in my heart God had spared me from something by placing me with my parents. From our conversations, my bio siblings confirmed that.  The Lord knew the whole story and He orchestrated my life.  He placed me in my family, who later on would need care, which He called me to do.  I haven’t always liked my ‘calling’ but I knew in my heart it was what I was placed my family for.  Now recently in my own need, God supplied exceedingly above all I could have imagined! My heart has been full and Jesus has been doing much restoration across the board for all of us as siblings, individually and in our families. 

One thing my siblings and I all agree on, is that we were children of circumstance.  We had no choice in the past things of our childhood.  There are many things in life that we have no say over, what parents we are born to, our race, nationality, where we are born, the color of our hair, the names we are given, and I’ve had no choice over either of mine!  Joking aside, there are things in this life we have no control over, while there are many we do.

While this reunion is a BIG way God has shown His presence and action in my life, there have been many in my life and it has been a journey with Christ. Sometimes there have been great, great joys and times of deep, deep pain.  Some born from my own choices of obedience and some from my choice of brokenness before God, and sometimes, it has been just what life brings and not my choice.  Yet, it has all been from the unmerited favor of God have I been upheld and called beloved, and if you are in Christ, you have also receive these blessings.

Here is a laundry list of things about me. I have been the baby twice now. I am a daughter, an aunt, mother, wife, sister, care-giver, I have been spoiled, I am loved, I’m a perfectionist, reserved, I’ve been adopted 3 times – once by my parents, by God and now back with my bio sibs, I’m a trained musician, and child of the King.  I have raised two wonderful Christian sons, one who is married and I am now a grandmother,  I’ve gone through a divorce as a follower of Jesus, I have since married Dan who is a loving man, I have a beautiful step daughter and Dan has a step son from his first marriage that he reconciled with in May, I’ve supported family and friends through the pain of suicide of loved ones, terminal illness, gone through Hospice training and sat with people in their final hours, I have felt less than and alone, I have hurt people I love throughout my life, I have said wrong things and damaged relationships many times in my life, I have been a worship leader in music at church, and have had the blessing of being a part God’s desired community, I have friends to pray with me and pray for, many joys, many sorrows, many struggles. Above all, God’s grace, pardon or favor in every situation in my life.

So back to the questions I asked at the beginning. What are the desires you have had in your heart, the struggles, the gifts from God, the times in your own life that God has shown His presence and action?  Do they turn your face toward Jesus?  Do they keep you at His feet?  Do they align your heart so your desire is for Him more than this present place?  Do you look for the answers to these things only in Christ so that you put Jesus in the right place in your life?  Do you have community with God? Jesus never said this life would be easy, but through Him it would be more abundant and fulfilling.  Even in our darkest hours of our brokenness before God or times of despair, if we turn to Him, He will meet us there, not just in the bad times, but in the times of rejoicing and harvest.

Finally in closing:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Philippians 4:8,19-20

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

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